Some Things Make Sense Later…

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Sometimes, something happens in front of us, and we don’t understand it.

Not because there is nothing to understand.

Maybe we just haven’t understood it yet.

There are situations I didn’t understand when they happened. I didn’t know how to separate them, analyze them, or even understand why they happened the way they did.

Then, days later.

Sometimes a week.

Sometimes a month.

Sometimes even longer.

I suddenly find myself going back to that moment.

Why did this happen?

Why did that person say that?

Why did they react that way?

Why did I react that way?

And then, after analyzing it again and again, something becomes clear.

It is almost like solving a situation that happened a long time ago.

I didn’t solve it on the same day.

I solved it later.

And there were many moments like that.

Sometimes I was upset because I didn’t understand the reason behind something. I didn’t understand someone’s behavior, or why a certain situation happened.

But later, I realized that some of those moments had taught me things.

Some taught me patience.

Some taught me not to trust so easily.

Some taught me not to respond too quickly.

And some taught me things I didn’t even know I needed to learn.

Maybe this is why I don’t think you can always understand an experience before you live it.

You can explain something to another person.

You can tell them exactly what happened.

You can describe your feelings, your reactions, and everything you went through.

But listening to someone’s experience is not the same as living it.

The person who lived the experience carries every feeling that came with it.

The listener only hears the story.

And those are two completely different things.

Sometimes you need to live something before you truly understand it.

There were also things I once saw differently.

Especially trust.

There was a time when I trusted people almost blindly.

If someone told me to walk into the fire, I might have believed they were right.

I trusted what people said more than what I felt.

But after certain situations happened repeatedly, something changed.

I started listening to my own feeling more.

There were moments that kept repeating themselves so strangely that I would ask myself:

Is this a warning from God?

Is this something telling me to pay attention?

I don’t know how to explain it.

But I know that those experiences made me much more careful.

They taught me to take certain situations seriously instead of ignoring what I felt.

And some people changed my way of thinking.

Not necessarily my personality.

Some people changed the way I think.

But some situations changed the way I behave.

For example, I learned that constantly allowing someone to cross my boundaries is not something I should accept.

When someone uses you as a place to release their anger, treats you badly, looks down on you, or constantly minimizes you, that is crossing a boundary.

And sometimes you don’t understand how important a boundary is until someone crosses it enough times.

Then you learn to draw the line.

This is my boundary.

Don’t cross it.

Respect me, and I will respect you.

Sometimes a lesson doesn’t come from the person.

It comes from what happened because of that person.

And sometimes what we thought was a loss turns out to be a different kind of beginning.

For me, one of those things was loneliness.

I used to think loneliness was completely negative.

Being away from people.

Being away from society.

Being away from interaction.

I thought it meant losing something.

But later, I discovered something I couldn’t have discovered while constantly surrounded by people.

I discovered myself.

I discovered parts of my personality that I hadn’t noticed before.

I discovered that there were situations I couldn’t deal with properly when I was constantly around people, but when I had time alone, I could think about them differently and respond in a way that made more sense to me.

What I once considered a loss became a space where I could understand myself.

And sometimes, the answer to an old question comes from a very small moment.

Something that might look insignificant to someone else can stay with you.

A small event happens.

Then another thing happens because of it.

And another.

The consequences continue through the years.

And one day, you suddenly look back and understand why that small moment mattered.

Maybe that’s why I believe that time alone doesn’t explain everything.

Experience does.

The old experiences teach us lessons for the new ones.

And the new experiences help us understand the old ones.

We carry what happened before us into what happens next.

Not so we can repeat the same mistakes, but so we can recognize them before we fall into them again.

And as we change, the way we see our past can change too.

The same memory can remain the same memory.

But we are no longer the same person looking at it.

I used to question myself a lot.

Why do people treat me this way?

Why do they speak to me like this?

Why did this person say that?

Why did someone get angry and release all of their anger on me?

Why did this happen?

Why?

For a long time, it felt like most of my life was made of questions.

And I didn’t have answers.

Not because there were no answers.

I simply didn’t know enough yet.

I didn’t have the experience.

I didn’t have someone older whom I could ask and truly trust.

But after going through different experiences and meeting different kinds of people, I started finding answers to some of those old questions.

I understood why.

And I also learned how to deal with it.

Maybe that’s what growing means sometimes.

Not forgetting the questions.

Finding their answers.

I also learned to accept the person I used to be.

I used to think of myself as someone who was almost too kind.

Now, I accept that part of me.

I accept my personality.

I accept the things that happened.

I accept that this is part of what was written for me.

And I don’t have to reject my past just because I understand it differently now.

The things that happened taught me how to deal with the present.

And how to be more prepared for the future.

Because I don’t believe that anything happens without meaning.

There is meaning in sadness.

Meaning in happiness.

Meaning in hope.

Meaning in laughter.

Meaning in situations.

Everything has meaning.

Everything has consequences.

What is happening in the present has something connected to the past, and something that may continue into the future.

We are moving along a line.

And every step means something.

Sometimes we want things at a specific time.

A house.

A car.

A job.

A husband.

A family.

A trip.

A certain life.

We imagine how we want things to happen and when we want them to happen.

But I didn’t always understand that what I want and what God has written for me may not arrive at the same time or in the same way.

I believe now that things can come at the right time, in the right way, and in the way that is meant for us.

There were things I wanted very badly when I was younger.

Marriage was one of them.

I wanted it during childhood and adolescence, partly because of the pressures I was dealing with at the time.

I wanted it so much that I would become upset when it didn’t happen.

Now I understand it differently.

Maybe that time wasn’t right for me.

Maybe I wasn’t ready.

And maybe what I wanted was simply delayed until the right time.

The same thing happened with education.

I wanted to study so badly before.

It didn’t happen then.

But eventually, God wrote it for me.

At the right time.

In a way that was suitable for me.

And now I am continuing that journey.

Sometimes the delay itself becomes part of the answer.

And maybe that’s what makes some things make sense later.

Not because the past changed.

Not because the situation suddenly became different.

But because we became different.

We became ready to understand what we couldn’t understand before.

If I could go back and speak to my younger self, I wouldn’t give her every answer.

I’d tell her to trust herself.

Ask Question.

Don’t stay silent.

If you don’t understand something, search for the answer.

If you don’t have someone to help you look for it, look for it yourself.

Don’t trust people too easily.

Don’t raise your expectations too high.

Take care of your education.

Take care of your prayers.

Take care of your mental well-being.

Take care of your health.

And most importantly, don’t be afraid of your questions.

You don’t have to understand everything immediately.

Maybe some things need a day.

Maybe a week.

Maybe a month.

Maybe years.

And maybe one day, something will happen that makes you look back at something you once couldn’t understand and quietly say:

Oh.

Now I understand.

But there is one more thing I want to say.

Wanting something doesn’t mean it will simply appear in your life overnight.

If you want to learn, learn.

If you want a job, seek one.

If you want an education, work toward it.

If you want happiness, look for the things that bring you closer to it.

If you want something, make an effort.

Pray for it.

Search for a way to reach it.

Maybe it will happen.

Maybe it won’t happen when you expect it to.

Maybe it will happen now.

Maybe it will happen later.

And maybe it will happen in a completely different way from the one you imagined.

But I believe that what is written for you will come at the right time, in the right place, and in the way that is right for you.

Not necessarily when you demand it.

Not necessarily in the form you imagined.

But in the time and way God has written for you.

So don’t stop wanting.

Don’t stop praying.

And don’t stop trying.

Sometimes the answer isn’t no.

Sometimes it is simply:

Not yet.

And maybe, when it finally comes,

you will understand why it had to make sense later.

Some things make sense later.